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Marriage: Jumping with both feet on Bible.org

Hey there! It’s been far too long!  Here is a post about marriage straight from my heart. It may challenge your conventional thought but I thought it was worth a second look.  Click below to read the article and let me know your thoughts.

http://blogs.bible.org/engage/christen_jacobs/marriage_jumping_with_both_feet

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A day in the life of…

So I decided to do some picture journaling to show the different facets of my life. I am a Believer, a Wife, a mom of 3 under three a Minister and the list goes on. Don’t get my wrong I don’t think that droves of people are biting their nails waiting to see what I fed my children today, but I always get questions about how in the world I manage to raise these kids work full time support my husband and write on the side with a smile on my face. So I figured I would chronicle the reality of a day in my life. Granted I don’t think it makes for life changing journalism but I do have some pretty cute kids and some life hacks you may find helpful soooooo drum roll please here we go… enjoy

6:00am- the hubs is getting ready for work I’m off today since I worked Saturday and Sunday (#ministrylife) I am faced with the choice to send the kids to pre school or keep them with me to redeem some quality time that I’ve spent chasing down ministry partners to give them commemorative pens.

The verdict is in I’m keeping all three today!!!! So we feast on cookies bananas and peanut butter in my queen sized bed and watch far too many episodes of Ninjago!


This is Lily 2 years old 20 pounds and a force of nature! This pic pretty much sums up the tude she’s been giving me all morning.


Meet Jude 3 years old and he thinks he is a Sithlord he walked around like this saying “look mommy I’m a Star Wars” this boy is silly and brilliant and refused to follow directions!

Ok it’s about 11:00 I’m feeling pretty good about myself by now. Why not start dinner #crockpotlife as a busy mom family 5 on a budget I cook  a lot to save money and I enjoy it. But I’m not going to lie gone are the days of roasting a rack of lamb with mint jelly all while wearing pearls. I do have my go to meals; I try to make them all quick or fix and forget so my crock pot gets a lot of mileage. Today I was super lazy about it and didn’t want to make gravy which I usually pour over he chuck roast while in the slow cooker. I crossed my fingers and hoped for the best

Dishes done (check) stare at the rest of the house and pretend I’m going to clean it (check) Note to self why are there so many toys! Like way too many!



My kids are not veggie eaters so I’m always looking for ways to hide them in their food. I made this homemade tomato soup a week or so ago with lots of pureed carrots. I make it in bulk, pre seasoned with onions and portion it out in freezer bags. I throw it in my spaghetti for added veggies or defrost it for the kids’ lunch like I did today. I’ve got lots of little baggies of what nots in the freezer and none of them are labeled so actually putting this practice to good use is like a fun game of hide and go seek! It’s like my Pinterest side meets the real me and we all just close our eyes and hope for the best!!!! 

Enter stage left my newest addition Joey! He’s adorable and cuddly and honestly I am self conscious about how much time he spends in this rocker. Managing everything else in this life I find myself wondering if I’m short changing the youngest I only hope I don’t mess him up and that my friends are real mommy thoughts unscripted. (Yes my carpet is terribly stained! Between potty training spot cleaning, spilled apple juice and water bottles I think I may have given up)


Ahhh Mommy’s gotta eat too!!! I made myself a grilled cheese on the side figured the kids had enough carbs that day. Lol really I had enough carbs too but something special just for me gives me moments to hold onto where I feel like an adult. (Yes that’s a kid’s spoon don’t judge me)


I try to take time to enjoy the little things. My soon started meticulously staking his toys in the dinning room I would typically tell him to stop but both he and Lily were captivated by their new task. (New rule never interrupt a captivated toddler) this random pile of things including my shoe and a war tank my son called a birthday present for me! He was so proud so I took the bait and paused to enjoy him a bit.


One huge poopie 2 baths and three breast feedings later we find ourselves on an adventure to the doctor. All three kids and myself have been suffering the wrath of winter colds. After doing everything I’ve been told to do I figured I better just take them in to the doc to be sure. I’m worried they will see this mom of three as a newbie and wonder why I brought them in for a viral cold. Why do I even care about their opinions anyway (By the way #teampetty came out during our drive, this is a pic of a new QT which was built recently my husband and I argued about if the new gas station was a QT he said no I said yes I win! What what lol real life marriage goals include rubbing things in your spouse’s face)


At the doc with the three littles is it just me or does everyone stare at us wherever we go. Maybe I’m just making it up out people look at me with half pity and half elation. BTW this was before they got the flu shoot, notice the smiles 🙂


Cup number 3 of coffee today this time in ice form. Honestly I didn’t feel like I would make the drive home the exhaustion is slowly encapsulating me.


Overall the kids do a pretty good job while I’m out. This is not a coincidence but it’s the result of intense prep. First we have a come to Jesus meeting in the car before we get out about how they will be on their best behavior and not embarrass me. I come fully stocked with medium sized toys not small ones! I repeat not small ones! They will be every where. And most importantly I try to communicate with them about where we are going and what will happen next. A lot of acting out by toddlers is caused by not being able to control their environment every moment is filled with surprises and new discoveries so I try to cut down on over stimulation by over communicating. In this case I kept going over why they were getting flu shots what would happen 1st 2nd and 3rd and it worked like a charm!


3 sick kids 2 shots and 2.5 hours later we shut it down! Parking lot of the doctor’s office is empty!

7:30 a little late for dinner time guess the lazy gravy I made was a hit as you can see clean plates. Although we did bribe Jude to eat his food with the promise of a cookie they say you’re not supposed to do that… I say who ever made this rule is clearly not trying to feed a toddler on a regular basis

My hubs makes bomb homemade cookies it’s a simple joy and probably one of the reasons I have yet to loose the baby weight! lol I grab two after dinner I have now lost count of how many I’ve had I’m headed to sit down and relax for one of the first times in hours while the hubs preps the kids for bed and folds laundry.


Getting in some time with the lord is tough with three littles but a pre bed praise break with the kids gets my focus back on Christ! This is Jude praising as we watch CCM videos on YouTube.


Screen shot of article I scrolled through during my sit down break. This one caught my eye because I’m always wondering if my relentless coffee addiction is ruining my liver! Turns out according to this article which may or may not be a reasonable source, it’s not!!!! What what via le cafe!


Bae makes the kids fly before bed!

Hubs brushes their teeth I nurse the baby, he gets them in their pjs, we pray we sing or goodnight song, and Tuck them in bed.

The Hubs and I go from kissing each other tickling and whispering about the night time events to transpire to being a little bitter at each other because I thought he insulted my cleaning (which by the way I haven’t been doing very well-but hey don’t you dare say something about it lol) he says he wasn’t. We are still a little distant he goes to bed I plop down besides him and nurse to the office a moment of peace and quite in the dark after a busy day

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When I said I like serving my husband and meant it

I did the impossible and actually cooked a meal I had pinned on Pinterest Carne Guisado (Tejano stewed beef).

Cooking is not an out of the ordinary thing for me in House of Jacobs its part of how I contribute to this family.

Dinner time comes about almost without thinking as Matt and I take our our perspective roles he gets the kids in their chairs, washes their hands, I portion out the kids’ food to let it cool and often but not always I prepare my husband’s plate and bring it to him.

This particular dinner I was nervousness to present him with the meal as Matt is a picky eater. This was something I had never made before and I am not immune to the erroneous but hilarious pinterest fails so my husband has grown skeptical of anything from that site. I also slid some cilantro and onion into his warm tortilla without tell him which is a no no. He doesn’t like new things.

I watched with expectancy as he took his first bite. No immediate reaction I guess he likes it. But the true test of his experience is if he goes for seconds. To seem nonchalant about the whole thing I asked him if he wanted me to warm another tortilla for him  and he agreed…Score looks like the Carne Guisado  is not a total bust. Then something out of the ordinary happened he looked up form the table, the kids still fist deep in beef flying every which way, me still at the stove my own food having cooled as I tend to the others, and he says “Babe…. I really like when you serve me.”

There is is just something about that sentence, all of my  fembot training has told me to reject his sentiment. “Serve Him!!!! How dare he say that I serve him!” When that is in fact what I had been doing and often do throughout our marriage. But the very recognition of the word service seemed to slow my response.  My reply was not in any sense of the knee jerk variety, In fact it was thoughtful and calculating. I let this word serve float around in my head and said. “And I really like serving you.” Did I just say that and mean it? Yeah!!!! I really actually do relish in serving my husband. As I pondered the truthfulness of my own response I felt a wall come down. One that has told me that my womanhood is centered in my individuality not what I can bring to my collective whole which is my family. Instead of being offended that I was a servant, I felt honored and even better, thankful that my husband took the time to notice it.

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Why Kim K just may be my pregnancy hero

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West catch a movie together

So right about now those of you who know me or those who just operate on common sense are probably doing a “Say what now?!”  I admit there are not many things that would make me put the word hero and Kim K in the same sentence.

But my honest truth is that she really is a model for pregnancy for me. Let me tell you why…

She wasn’t blessed with a “cute” pregnancy and that’s ok!

Yes I know all pregnancies are beautiful but lets face it some ladies have that perfectly round ball and no fat that appears any where on her body! People asked me all the time if I was going to do a pregnancy photo shoot. My answer was no! I enjoyed feeling baby move inside of me, I enjoyed the pregnancy attention I got but I did not love the way I looked.  In my first pregnancy I never seemed to pop out! In fact I got wider and wider until my belly button just collapsed on itself.  I was ok with that but I didn’t have the picturesque pregnancy that you see in magazines and neither did Kim! So a real life famous person had a baby bulge instead of a baby bump and the world got to see that this is a beautiful pregnancy too!  Work that bulge Kim K! You are a trail blazer for wide pregnant women every where!

She had cankles and the world needs to learn about this! Stop telling lies to young aspiring mothers every where! Your feet will grow and heels will spread and they may never come back!  

Ok I will not tell a lie this was a tragic choice of foot wear on her behalf. However this happens in pregnancy! This is what many moms suffer through before the bouncing baby comes! Kim K! Work those cankles and try another shoe but good for you!

Kim K feet

She is not afraid of having babies back to back! 

Kim-Kardashian-and-North-West

Come next May I will have 3 kids 3 and under! I love my life! I love my Kids but to most people you would think that I have somehow lost my mind having so many children back to back. Here are the top front runners of strange rhetoric about having multiple children.

  1. You guys need a TV in the bed room! ummm ok we have a TV in our bedroom but we also like to engage in marital intimacy is that ok with you.
  2. Don’t you know how to use birth control. Why yes my husband was actually a sex ed teacher for some time you know.
  3. (Now on my third pregnancy) Are you going to have your tubes tied?  …I am glad that you are concerned for my reproductive organs however I think I would rather have a conversation about life altering surgery with husband… THANK YOU!
  4. After I found out about my second child another mother says… Oh I am so sorry…I’m like sorry for what? The miracle of life? No need to be sorry we love having our kids close in age.

 

All in all you can see that Kim is an every day women pregnancy hero. She isn’t concerned about what social norms say about how many children you have and how long you should wait. For me when I often feel like a baked potato warped in foil I am proud to see another lumpy pregnancy in media.

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Every Once and a While I Sob After Making Love to my Husband

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I am hesitant to pin my thoughts on the matter of sex. It is so private and I lead a very public life in which many see me as a spiritual leader. So I pray I don’t offend you or totally freak out my parents. (Sorry mom and dad lol!!!)

But here is the thing if some people do look to me a spiritual leader than this is one of the MOST important things for me to talk about. People live and die captivated by sex, it’s every where we look, it is a source of much shame, drama, and hurt. It’s also a source of joy and intimacy. The media is so proudly weaving its view of sex without consequence so why should I not open my mouth to talk about it from a biblical perspective.

It’s true every once and a while I will burst into uncontrollable tears after my husband and I make love. Now you may be thinking isn’t the normal thing to cuddle, some have a smoke lol, but I think the reason behind my tears is quite beautiful and quite liberating.

Here is the thing, sex with your husband, with whom you have covenanted together before the Lord is safe. I think in general we go through life looking for safe places. It’s the most familiar places that bring us the fondest memories.

When my husband and I make love haunting thoughts of loosing the safety of his arms don’t run through my mind. I don’t have to worry that he may gather his things and leave by morning, or that I have to keep performing to get him to come back. I don’t have to worry about the “walk of shame.” I don’t worry about the moment he decides to move on to the next one, the one that is younger and more attractive than I am. I don’t have to wear just the right make up, all the latest clothes, or pretend like I don’t fart every once and a while. He knows that I do lol!

Our marriage covenant has given me the boundaries in which I can be free. My pastor often reminds us that while boundaries can appear to be restrictive, anything done without boundaries will comes to a point where it cannot be enjoyed. For instance, we all love football here in the great state of Texas right! But what if the game of football had no rules? What if there were no out of bounds? No off sides? No yard markers? The fact is without the boundaries it wouldn’t be football at all.

Because my husband and I have entered in an agreement before the Lord we have set boundaries that allow us to enjoy the game!  I cannot tell you how much the pressure is off when you know that your mate won’t walk away when he finds out who you really are, under the fake eye lashes and countered face. The pressure is off and its a beautiful thing.

This liberation I feel is two fold really…. It’s not just about the safety I feel in my husbands arms. It is also about the fact that my actions are pleasing in the sight of the Lord. Many people have an un- biblical view that God is somehow against sex.  God is in fact the creator of sex, it is a gift that He has given to the husband and wife not only for the purpose of procreation but for the purpose of pleasure. Sex is a demonstration of intimacy between man and woman as two people are intertwined in the most literal sense of the word the two flesh become one.

If you are reading this, and you hunger and thirst after righteousness then you know what the gut wrenching pain of disappointing God our father feels like.  You may know what it feels like to walk in church on Sunday with your head down not feeling worthy to be in his presence because despite your relationship with him you have gone out of bounds. You may have shed tears when you realize you have chooses a momentary pleasure over the will of the almighty God who has your best interest at heart.

If you have accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior then you should also know what it feels like to cast your cares upon him because he cares for you. You should also know what it feels like to look upon the Lord with shame and he removes your sorrow and gives you joy. We serve a redemptive father whose mercies are everlasting, who watches our mistakes and carefully guides us to the path of righteousness no matter the number of times we take a left turn. You should know that years of tasting the icing on a cake can be lifted from you in but a moment like when God told Moses to hold up a snake on a stick and that all that would look upon it would be free from their afflictions, in the same way we look upon our savior who has died for our sin, who has paid the penalty for us and he extends forgiveness and grace.

If you have been going out of bounds concerning sex can you imagine what it may feel like to the play the game as it should be played!!!!! Can you imagine enjoying God’s creation with freedom without guilt and shame. I can tell you there is nothing better.

So there it is, my first blog about my sex life and I am a bit embarrassed lol.  But I am also so very blessed and so very happy. It’s true at times I do sob after my husband and I make love. I sob because when I look in his loving eyes I see his devotion towards me. I see his delight in me. I see his commitment to me. I see his safety and his strength, his stability and his care and his forgiveness. Anything that has come before has been wiped away as we celebrate each other. What can be better than this?