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My sin is not sexy

After much pondering, denial, and justification I have come to the fundamental understanding that I am LAZY! I even googled it, I wikihow’d the title “How to stop being a slob”

Ok I know you may be laughing now but this is not a joke.You know you are dealing with slothfulness or laziness as a sin when it burdens you. I procrastinate. I dream about accomplishing things I never start. I miss timelines, I am often late.  I know I have a problem. Waking up is the WORST! My I set my alarm 30 mins early I hit snooze a couple of times but somehow I get wrapped into the ultimate time waster-Facebook! Next then you know I have lost 30 mins of prep time.

I am sure right about now you are trying to come up with a way to give me a pass just as I often do. I have been fairly successful. I have completed multiple degrees, I have a family and being in full time ministry I have plenty of reason to need rest. But rest is not the issue….

God has no problem with rest; he often demonstrated it himself as a necessary means of replenishing to ready yourself for Kingdom Work.  Yet Ephesians 5  says do not be unwise! MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR TIME! Why? Because there is there is work to be done! The days are evil and we as Christians are the only salt and light in the world. What a job that is. But yet when there is work to be done how often do we employ ” A little sleep a little slumber a little folding of the hands to rest.” Prov 24: 33
Making the Most of my time… I don’t think that is a biblical mandate to pound the pavement and spread the gospel every second of the day. But I do think it means to live intentionally,  live relationally, and it certainly could not mean that you should spend 25% of y our day on social media and scrolling through the journalistic mayhem of Yahoo front page.
There are times with the cloud of slothfulness lays so heavily on me I become even bored of my laziness. I think…. Hey You! Get up and do something. And even though I may want to get up alas, I go back to wasting time. I push up against deadlines, I am good at what I do, but I hurt myself and others when I so selfishly put things off until the last minuet.
My own procrastination has even caused financial strain when the idea is to just pick up the phone and pay a bill then I get stuck in a Friends marathon and forget the whole thing ever existed.
I write, speak and teach a lot which means that I have tuns of prep and study that I do. My husband is gracious in taking on the kids while I do this. But no lie I have had to say out almost have the night in prep for a class I knew I was teaching at least two months prior. The hubs was livid and I understand. My lack of diligence put the whole family in a bind.
This is sin. Its not pretty, Its not cute, Its not funny, Its not sexy its sinful. A sinfulness that typically rest in self indulgence of all kinds.
Its easy to hide a sin like this because no body ever talks about it. There are no support groups and celebrate recovery groups about the sin of lazy. I have no clue if there is a book on the topic (light bulb!)
I say sloth isn’t a sexy sin not that any sin is sexy, but it’s not popular. It’s not the one people stand up and say yes I have found victory over being a shlub.
Here I am being honest, Its not cool to say have I am naturally lazy but it is cool to seek help seek change and take sin seriously.

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Day 14, If a joke falls on deaf ears, is it really a joke?: Facebook edition

14 days into my 21 day Facebook challenge and I find myself sinking into a deep extraterrestrial worm hole where facebook statuses and tweets go to die…. Ok I am a little dramatic we know that, but the fact is I miss being connected. I miss knowing whats going on! and I think I miss being heard most.

I do not lack actual humans in real life that I can converse with. I have a pretty robust social life and home life but I think my husband may be getting tired of hearing jokes I usually air on social media. I keep thinking up funny political satire, one liners and zings that fall flat into the land of nothingness. I came up with some atrocious puns the other day and shared with with a friend to no avail.  So that leads me to the question if a joke falls on deaf ears, is it really a joke?

I could analyze of of the psychological reason why my view of this represents a desperate need for validation but I don’t want to get too heady today. I just want to complain….well and this may be a slight work around but here are some things I have been thinking!

1. Since when did Chuck E Cheese bow to the god of consumerism? Is it not supposed to be a place “Where a kid can be a kid?” We took my son last night for his 2nd birthday and it was the first time I’ve stepped foot in one since I was younger. Let’s just say things have changed!  Chucke is no longer a rolly polly fluffy lovable mouse. He has been taken over by a health conscious slim version mouse one who eats salads. And by the way they now provide a fully stocked salad bar which was less then appetizing because it wdownloadas surrounded by the petri dish produced by hundreds of small children sneezing in prime allergy season.  And here is the kicker folks! I asked them what are the show times for when Chucke comes out and they play the animatronic showcase that haunted our dreams as children. It turns out they only provide this shows for reserved birthday parties!  Joke’s on you Chucke we just sat near a paid party so we could be a part of the show.

2. My husband and I had the chance to run around and play some games yesterday. I told him that ski ball has always been my game and every good arcade lover knows its where you get the most tickets. So I ask him if he wanted to know  my trick, I told its the “flick of da wrist, flack of da wrist!” Hahahaha!

3. I was helping my two year old play this little hippo game and I look down and some other kid was stealing his tickets! I mean what the gumballs people is this the world we live in!

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Selfies and Mental Illness: Facebook edition

I recently read another study (yes I do read a lot of studies) that found a correlation between obsessive selfie taking and mental illness! That’s right folks, that person on your news feed that takes 1000 pics of themselves in slightly modified poses, really may be a little crazy!  Now I am not sure of the scientific merit of this study however the summation goes as follows: Ones’ need to be seen (that goes above and beyond the normal use of pictures on social media) is typically related to anxiety, depression, low self esteem, and even some forms of psychosis.

I love a good selflie as much as the next gal. But I am on day 8 of my 21 day fast from social media and I find myself in a perplexing position. I’m wearing a cute new fit? With whom do I share the picture? The kids are doing something adorable? Where is my audience folks? I got my lipstick just right? I have no outlet for my duck face poses.

All of this has lead me to some degree of introspective thought. Why do I feel the need to share all of my pictures? There is nothing intrinsically wrong with the act of selfie taking, but what is driving it? While, like most millennial, I do not live in the same state as my family so Facebook allows us to achieve some level of intimacy where in they can see my day to day life unfold. However I am not sure that this is the motivation of my own selfie frenzy. At the heart of it, if I am truly honest I think it may be a need for validation.

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Life before Facebook 

I am a part of a dying breed of people who remember what life was like before Facebook. I use the term remember loosely, because in all sincerity it feels like trying to peer back at life through a foggy lens.

What in the world did we do back then? What occupied us? How did we get news and most of all if I had funny comments to make who did I say it to? I know that life didn’t feel as if it were lacking something at the time, yet now I can’t even remember the answers to these questions. Like what fun was it to go on a trip without video cataloging the whole thing and waiting to see how many people “like” it. Why do we go to concerts and record on our phones when we are physically present?

I recently read a study that showed some young children are exhibiting the behaviors of kids who are neglected or behavior consistent with children of depressed mothers. What they cited as the cause was the over use of social media. Parents including myself, are choosing to stay glued to their phones instead of taking a walk with the kids, blowing bubbles or just simply looking at them.

As you may have read in my last post I breastfeed my 6 month old and I love it! But I have a constant battle with Instagram. I know I should stop and cherish every chubby checked and tiny finger moment of breastfeeding my love bug, but I end up scrolling, scrolling, scrolling on my phone. When I look past my phone, I see my daughter looking up at me, turns out her eyes have never left my own.

So I have said it before but I will say it again enough is enough. There are wonderful things about social media, including my availability to share my thoughts with all you lovely people.  But until you can detox you have to put some distance between you and the addiction. So here we go. It starts today! A 21 day fast from social media. (I will blog about my experience but not check my typical media outlets.)

I want to remember what it is like to just live. To see an awesome butterfly and appreciate its beauty rather than rushing to upload a pic of it. To eat a beautiful meal without bragging about it. To enjoy an event with my family for what it is. To maybe even pick up the phone and tell my friends funny things I think of instead of tweeting them.

I just want to be