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Year 32 elated-distraught and everything in between 

As is tradition every year around my birthday I pen something about the great wealth of wisdom I’ve accumulated since last year… (Cough cough add sarcasm here)  If there is anything I have learned from this practice, it’s that whenever I start to believe I am at a pinical of understanding God is quick to show me that I’m fooling myself. 

This past year has been full of life! Changes in my job, new opportunities, a new little one expected to join our family, giggles, laughs and milestones. It’s also been one of belly ache crying sessions, the ones where deep groans seem to erupt from your inner being, it’s been full of tiered days and frustration, dinners that have gone un-eaten, screaming matches lots of humility, lots of love and a ton of painful growth.

That’s life though a milue of good bad beautiful and lovely. If you are anything like me when you look back on a year lived in this life the good parts and the bad parts seem to fuse together leaving behind a haze that reminds you that this existence of ours is real.  The point is that crying means you care deeply, pain shows that you feel with intensity, fights mean that you are surrounded with people to fight with. Being smeared in more baby poop than you could’ve ever imagined means that you have been trusted to care for another human. 

I can’t clearly separate the good the bad and the ugly of my last year. If anything when I look back I see evidence of my humanity, my fragility, my image being formed into Christ, I see pain that teaches hope, I see lack which teaches gratitude, I see beauty, I see God and a glimpse of my own eternality in him.

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My perfectly, imperfect 31st Birthday!

Today is the day folks! I am 31. Its an interesting thing turning 31, at 30 the novelty of true adulthood was fresh and exhilarating. At 31 the additional year feels more like a permanent seal proving that I have traveled over yonder lol! Don’t get me wrong I am not afraid to age! I just still feel like a child playing dress up some times. I have a husband, now a house, two kids, two cars and bills… when did that happen 🙂

My day so far is not going as smoothly as I expected. Last night I volunteered in the toddler room at my church for VBS! OMG the horror! My kid is two, is he like that? If so God Bless the sweet childcare workers who run around with him, I need to bring them cookies or something. At one point a small child with terrible eczema kept asking me to scratch his sores. I felt terrible for him, but man, that takes a mother’s love.

Needless to say I returned home hot, sweaty, and exhausted.

Today I woke up to my baby girl screaming and she proceeded to scream until we left the door an hour later.

My son, who made his way to our bed last night, kept trying to poke my eye out (literally) as I was breast feeding because he thinks its funny. He then proceeded to drop a large load.

I boiled and egg for him, sat him in his chair so I could get some other things done. I turned my head and he had thrown all of the eggs on the ground, not at all at once in one location, but strategically little egg bit by little egg bit. I left it there…

Our diaper Genie that saves us from breathing in poop fumes is out of bags so the garbage is full of these little surprises. Redemption is here because its garbage day. But on a particularly hot Texas day they forgot the trash bags out front. This is going to get interesting lol!

Jude refused to leave his toy car at home and Lily kept crying, I was running late so I proceeded to ditch the idea of coffee and eggs for myself and ran out the door.

On the way to drop the kids off in two different locations my mind is running about typing up loose end for our lease termination as they may be trying to scam us out of a deposit (don’t worry I will win!). My husband was side swiped in a hit and run a couple of days ago. He is great but the car needs some care. I have yet to call our insurance company. And we don’t have the money.

I was 3, yes 3, minutes late to pick up my daughter yesterday and was charged 15 dollars. I had planned to bring cash this afternoon but apparently I was already extended grace and it was due immediately,  So off to the bank I go already late to work. My son is in the back seat saying “OH NO” because he cannot get his sock off lol.

I look down at my toes……. (Ladies can you relate lol) I wanted to feel cute on this 31st B day of mine, so I threw on some sandals, but my feet are not sandal ready 🙂 oh well. I changed my outfit twice this morning. While Jude was throwing eggs I was trying to see if I can even fit back into my intermediate fat pants yet. (I can’t )

So I am here now and its my Birthday! I’m not mad, a little stressed out, but still grateful. There are some things I could be handling better, some hurdles to leap over, mountains to climb and all of that stuff. I have a gym and a trainer in the building I work in yet I don’t go.

This didn’t strike me as an ideal Birthday Morning, but when my boss asked me if I had any 31 year old wisdom I told him, “I am perfectly Imperfect”  and supper blessed!