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When I said I like serving my husband and meant it

I did the impossible and actually cooked a meal I had pinned on Pinterest Carne Guisado (Tejano stewed beef).

Cooking is not an out of the ordinary thing for me in House of Jacobs its part of how I contribute to this family.

Dinner time comes about almost without thinking as Matt and I take our our perspective roles he gets the kids in their chairs, washes their hands, I portion out the kids’ food to let it cool and often but not always I prepare my husband’s plate and bring it to him.

This particular dinner I was nervousness to present him with the meal as Matt is a picky eater. This was something I had never made before and I am not immune to the erroneous but hilarious pinterest fails so my husband has grown skeptical of anything from that site. I also slid some cilantro and onion into his warm tortilla without tell him which is a no no. He doesn’t like new things.

I watched with expectancy as he took his first bite. No immediate reaction I guess he likes it. But the true test of his experience is if he goes for seconds. To seem nonchalant about the whole thing I asked him if he wanted me to warm another tortilla for him ¬†and he agreed…Score looks like the Carne Guisado ¬†is not a total bust. Then something out of the ordinary happened he looked up form the table, the kids still fist deep in beef flying every which way, me still at the stove my own food having cooled as I tend to the others, and he says “Babe…. I really like when you serve me.”

There is is just something about that sentence, all of my ¬†fembot training has told me to reject his sentiment. “Serve Him!!!! How dare he say that I serve him!” When that is in fact what I had been doing and often do throughout our marriage. But the very recognition of the word service seemed to slow my response. ¬†My reply was not in any sense of the knee jerk variety, In fact it was thoughtful and calculating. I let this word serve float around in my head and said. “And I really like serving you.” Did I just say that and mean it? Yeah!!!! I really actually do relish in serving my husband. As I pondered the truthfulness of my own response I felt a wall come down. One that has told me that my womanhood is centered in my individuality not what I can bring to my collective whole which is my family. Instead of being offended that I was a servant, I felt honored and even better, thankful that my husband took the time to notice it.

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Discomfort begets change 

Is the longing  to do something real? The longing is real but is the source of it pure is what I mean to say. Is it selfishness or pride and angst that moves you forward or motivation to do more that is divinely  inspired. 

Discomfort, Dissatisfsction they act as drivers to propel you to take risks to change to push yourself 

The hard part is knowing which is real. Which one is simply the pea under layers of mattresses creating an ache in your side and which one is the passion the yearning and God given soul searching that causes you to birth something new. 

Discomfort begets change 

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The Church’s Blind Side: Why Black Lives, Blue Lives, All lives Matter on Bible.org¬†

There is an unspeakable ache in my heart today, can you feel it too? Among the angst, frustration and bitterness, what I feel most is really disappointment. I am disappointed that that after years of striving to be a beacon of democracy, people can be left to bleed out in the streets, with no trial, no due process, and no convictions. I am disappointed that a band of heartless cowards decided to target police officers in my own city of Dallas….

Follow link to read full article on Bible.org 
http://blogs.bible.org/engage/christen_jacobs/the_churchs_blind_side_why_black_lives_blue_lives_and_all_lives_matter

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Pampers in the Pews on Bible.org: Warm and Fussy Feelings do not equal faith

 

Preview: Click link to read full article

There I was walking that long path to the university yet again. I knew every crack in the side walk. I knew where the weeds had finally broken free and where the deep puddles would collect after a hard rain. I could gauge how late I was to class based on the faces I met scrambling along the way. Guys and gals who drank way too much the night before drug their inanimate bodies to their 7:45 classes. The skaters, which was still a thing then, weaved in and out of the crowd, I had to fake left and fake right to escape them. Every day I would walk that path to those lofty red brick buildings almost floating, sometimes skipping and always with a smile plastered on my face. Rushing for final exams, my homework may or may not have been done, a guy running to class spills his coffee on me, but none of it altered the feeling of elation that seemed to be my cocoon.    Path

 

http://blogs.bible.org/engage/christen_jacobs/warm_and_fuzzy_feelings_do_not_equal_faith

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Year 32 elated-distraught and everything in between 

As is tradition every year around my birthday I pen something about the great wealth of wisdom I’ve accumulated since last year… (Cough cough add sarcasm here)  If there is anything I have learned from this practice, it’s that whenever I start to believe I am at a pinical of understanding God is quick to show me that I’m fooling myself. 

This past year has been full of life! Changes in my job, new opportunities, a new little one expected to join our family, giggles, laughs and milestones. It’s also been one of belly ache crying sessions, the ones where deep groans seem to erupt from your inner being, it’s been full of tiered days and frustration, dinners that have gone un-eaten, screaming matches lots of humility, lots of love and a ton of painful growth.

That’s life though a milue of good bad beautiful and lovely. If you are anything like me when you look back on a year lived in this life the good parts and the bad parts seem to fuse together leaving behind a haze that reminds you that this existence of ours is real.  The point is that crying means you care deeply, pain shows that you feel with intensity, fights mean that you are surrounded with people to fight with. Being smeared in more baby poop than you could’ve ever imagined means that you have been trusted to care for another human. 

I can’t clearly separate the good the bad and the ugly of my last year. If anything when I look back I see evidence of my humanity, my fragility, my image being formed into Christ, I see pain that teaches hope, I see lack which teaches gratitude, I see beauty, I see God and a glimpse of my own eternality in him.

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Pampers in the Pews featured on Bible.org

Hey there wonderful people I am so blessed to share with you my latest article for Bible.org Engage- ¬†“A Millennial’s Journey into Women’s Ministry” I am a true supporter of bridging the gap and loving each other well across generations!

check it out I would love your feedback

http://blogs.bible.org/engage/christen_jacobs/a_millennials_journey_into_womens_ministry