some doubted

May of us have been taught that doubting what you believe in comparable to a deadly sin. But I find that Jesus takes a gracious approach to the doubts of his followers.

After 3 years of a miracle filled ministry on earth, the disciples saw Jesus dumbfound the religious rulers of their day with his clarity in teaching the scriptures. They saw the dead restored,  sickness healed, demons driven out food multiplied, manipulation of the wind and the waves  and to top that all off they heard Jesus speak with his own words that he would be crucified and rise again. Here they sit as Jesus is about to give his final word, in his resurrected body after having shown himself as the risen Lord to hundreds of people and we see that some doubted.

Matthew 28:16-20

“Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. When they saw him, they worship him: but some doubted. Then Jesus came to them and said, All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all the nations baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

To the very end! Some doubted! But notice that Jesus doesn’t rebuke those who are having wavering thoughts. We know he knows the hearts and minds of men and could have easily called them out.

Instead he knowingly reassures them that because He is God incarnate, because He is the promised one that He has all authority in heaven and on earth. He comforts them by telling them who he is then gives them a charge to spread the word based on that authority!

What a beautiful picture of God’s gracious heart toward man. Truly we are like sheep led astray but being the good shepherd he is, He doesn’t rebuke the sheep but he takes his time to bring them back into the fold.


Why Kim K just may be my pregnancy hero

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West catch a movie together

So right about now those of you who know me or those who just operate on common sense are probably doing a “Say what now?!”  I admit there are not many things that would make me put the word hero and Kim K in the same sentence.

But my honest truth is that she really is a model for pregnancy for me. Let me tell you why…

She wasn’t blessed with a “cute” pregnancy and that’s ok!

Yes I know all pregnancies are beautiful but lets face it some ladies have that perfectly round ball and no fat that appears any where on her body! People asked me all the time if I was going to do a pregnancy photo shoot. My answer was no! I enjoyed feeling baby move inside of me, I enjoyed the pregnancy attention I got but I did not love the way I looked.  In my first pregnancy I never seemed to pop out! In fact I got wider and wider until my belly button just collapsed on itself.  I was ok with that but I didn’t have the picturesque pregnancy that you see in magazines and neither did Kim! So a real life famous person had a baby bulge instead of a baby bump and the world got to see that this is a beautiful pregnancy too!  Work that bulge Kim K! You are a trail blazer for wide pregnant women every where!

She had cankles and the world needs to learn about this! Stop telling lies to young aspiring mothers every where! Your feet will grow and heels will spread and they may never come back!  

Ok I will not tell a lie this was a tragic choice of foot wear on her behalf. However this happens in pregnancy! This is what many moms suffer through before the bouncing baby comes! Kim K! Work those cankles and try another shoe but good for you!

Kim K feet

She is not afraid of having babies back to back! 


Come next May I will have 3 kids 3 and under! I love my life! I love my Kids but to most people you would think that I have somehow lost my mind having so many children back to back. Here are the top front runners of strange rhetoric about having multiple children.

  1. You guys need a TV in the bed room! ummm ok we have a TV in our bedroom but we also like to engage in marital intimacy is that ok with you.
  2. Don’t you know how to use birth control. Why yes my husband was actually a sex ed teacher for some time you know.
  3. (Now on my third pregnancy) Are you going to have your tubes tied?  …I am glad that you are concerned for my reproductive organs however I think I would rather have a conversation about life altering surgery with husband… THANK YOU!
  4. After I found out about my second child another mother says… Oh I am so sorry…I’m like sorry for what? The miracle of life? No need to be sorry we love having our kids close in age.


All in all you can see that Kim is an every day women pregnancy hero. She isn’t concerned about what social norms say about how many children you have and how long you should wait. For me when I often feel like a baked potato warped in foil I am proud to see another lumpy pregnancy in media.


My sin is not sexy

After much pondering, denial, and justification I have come to the fundamental understanding that I am LAZY! I even googled it, I wikihow’d the title “How to stop being a slob”

Ok I know you may be laughing now but this is not a joke.You know you are dealing with slothfulness or laziness as a sin when it burdens you. I procrastinate. I dream about accomplishing things I never start. I miss timelines, I am often late.  I know I have a problem. Waking up is the WORST! My I set my alarm 30 mins early I hit snooze a couple of times but somehow I get wrapped into the ultimate time waster-Facebook! Next then you know I have lost 30 mins of prep time.

I am sure right about now you are trying to come up with a way to give me a pass just as I often do. I have been fairly successful. I have completed multiple degrees, I have a family and being in full time ministry I have plenty of reason to need rest. But rest is not the issue….

God has no problem with rest; he often demonstrated it himself as a necessary means of replenishing to ready yourself for Kingdom Work.  Yet Ephesians 5  says do not be unwise! MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR TIME! Why? Because there is there is work to be done! The days are evil and we as Christians are the only salt and light in the world. What a job that is. But yet when there is work to be done how often do we employ ” A little sleep a little slumber a little folding of the hands to rest.” Prov 24: 33
Making the Most of my time… I don’t think that is a biblical mandate to pound the pavement and spread the gospel every second of the day. But I do think it means to live intentionally,  live relationally, and it certainly could not mean that you should spend 25% of y our day on social media and scrolling through the journalistic mayhem of Yahoo front page.
There are times with the cloud of slothfulness lays so heavily on me I become even bored of my laziness. I think…. Hey You! Get up and do something. And even though I may want to get up alas, I go back to wasting time. I push up against deadlines, I am good at what I do, but I hurt myself and others when I so selfishly put things off until the last minuet.
My own procrastination has even caused financial strain when the idea is to just pick up the phone and pay a bill then I get stuck in a Friends marathon and forget the whole thing ever existed.
I write, speak and teach a lot which means that I have tuns of prep and study that I do. My husband is gracious in taking on the kids while I do this. But no lie I have had to say out almost have the night in prep for a class I knew I was teaching at least two months prior. The hubs was livid and I understand. My lack of diligence put the whole family in a bind.
This is sin. Its not pretty, Its not cute, Its not funny, Its not sexy its sinful. A sinfulness that typically rest in self indulgence of all kinds.
Its easy to hide a sin like this because no body ever talks about it. There are no support groups and celebrate recovery groups about the sin of lazy. I have no clue if there is a book on the topic (light bulb!)
I say sloth isn’t a sexy sin not that any sin is sexy, but it’s not popular. It’s not the one people stand up and say yes I have found victory over being a shlub.
Here I am being honest, Its not cool to say have I am naturally lazy but it is cool to seek help seek change and take sin seriously.