Every Once and a While I Sob After Making Love to my Husband


I am hesitant to pin my thoughts on the matter of sex. It is so private and I lead a very public life in which many see me as a spiritual leader. So I pray I don’t offend you or totally freak out my parents. (Sorry mom and dad lol!!!)

But here is the thing if some people do look to me a spiritual leader than this is one of the MOST important things for me to talk about. People live and die captivated by sex, it’s every where we look, it is a source of much shame, drama, and hurt. It’s also a source of joy and intimacy. The media is so proudly weaving its view of sex without consequence so why should I not open my mouth to talk about it from a biblical perspective.

It’s true every once and a while I will burst into uncontrollable tears after my husband and I make love. Now you may be thinking isn’t the normal thing to cuddle, some have a smoke lol, but I think the reason behind my tears is quite beautiful and quite liberating.

Here is the thing, sex with your husband, with whom you have covenanted together before the Lord is safe. I think in general we go through life looking for safe places. It’s the most familiar places that bring us the fondest memories.

When my husband and I make love haunting thoughts of loosing the safety of his arms don’t run through my mind. I don’t have to worry that he may gather his things and leave by morning, or that I have to keep performing to get him to come back. I don’t have to worry about the “walk of shame.” I don’t worry about the moment he decides to move on to the next one, the one that is younger and more attractive than I am. I don’t have to wear just the right make up, all the latest clothes, or pretend like I don’t fart every once and a while. He knows that I do lol!

Our marriage covenant has given me the boundaries in which I can be free. My pastor often reminds us that while boundaries can appear to be restrictive, anything done without boundaries will comes to a point where it cannot be enjoyed. For instance, we all love football here in the great state of Texas right! But what if the game of football had no rules? What if there were no out of bounds? No off sides? No yard markers? The fact is without the boundaries it wouldn’t be football at all.

Because my husband and I have entered in an agreement before the Lord we have set boundaries that allow us to enjoy the game!  I cannot tell you how much the pressure is off when you know that your mate won’t walk away when he finds out who you really are, under the fake eye lashes and countered face. The pressure is off and its a beautiful thing.

This liberation I feel is two fold really…. It’s not just about the safety I feel in my husbands arms. It is also about the fact that my actions are pleasing in the sight of the Lord. Many people have an un- biblical view that God is somehow against sex.  God is in fact the creator of sex, it is a gift that He has given to the husband and wife not only for the purpose of procreation but for the purpose of pleasure. Sex is a demonstration of intimacy between man and woman as two people are intertwined in the most literal sense of the word the two flesh become one.

If you are reading this, and you hunger and thirst after righteousness then you know what the gut wrenching pain of disappointing God our father feels like.  You may know what it feels like to walk in church on Sunday with your head down not feeling worthy to be in his presence because despite your relationship with him you have gone out of bounds. You may have shed tears when you realize you have chooses a momentary pleasure over the will of the almighty God who has your best interest at heart.

If you have accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior then you should also know what it feels like to cast your cares upon him because he cares for you. You should also know what it feels like to look upon the Lord with shame and he removes your sorrow and gives you joy. We serve a redemptive father whose mercies are everlasting, who watches our mistakes and carefully guides us to the path of righteousness no matter the number of times we take a left turn. You should know that years of tasting the icing on a cake can be lifted from you in but a moment like when God told Moses to hold up a snake on a stick and that all that would look upon it would be free from their afflictions, in the same way we look upon our savior who has died for our sin, who has paid the penalty for us and he extends forgiveness and grace.

If you have been going out of bounds concerning sex can you imagine what it may feel like to the play the game as it should be played!!!!! Can you imagine enjoying God’s creation with freedom without guilt and shame. I can tell you there is nothing better.

So there it is, my first blog about my sex life and I am a bit embarrassed lol.  But I am also so very blessed and so very happy. It’s true at times I do sob after my husband and I make love. I sob because when I look in his loving eyes I see his devotion towards me. I see his delight in me. I see his commitment to me. I see his safety and his strength, his stability and his care and his forgiveness. Anything that has come before has been wiped away as we celebrate each other. What can be better than this?



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