For some reason I am not the most maternal person in the world. Don’t get me wrong I think babies are cute and I love my own, but it just didn’t come as naturally as it came to others. In fact I shamefully thought that I would not really like being a mom.
In the same vein, I just assumed I really wouldn’t like breast feeding. I didn’t want to do it! There is nipple pads, nipple butter, nipple cooling gel! What’s with all this nipple stuff! I felt pressured to breast feed really. While expecting my first son, the most intimate details of my breast seemed to be public information, as men and woman alike asked me with a stern, eye “Are you going to breast feed?”
So it turns out I love being a mom! Its not this disastrous black whole in which your personality, beauty and your waist line go to die! Its kind of awesome; hard but awesome! In the meantime I learned I loved breastfeeding! Yes all of the nipple stuff is worth it! Side Note: After my last baby girl I sent my loving dad and wonderful father in law to CVS to pic up some post baby essentials for me. Two men in their 60’s one black and one white scavenging the store for nipple cream. From what I hear it took an hour of searching and an awkward conversation with the store clerk, but they returned home triumphant!
What I love most about breastfeeding the is quiet! Babies are anything but quiet and this is a special time where you have what they want, and they want what you have. It was really empowering for me as I stated earlier I am not the most maternal person in the world. I had no clue what to do with my first born when we brought him home. In fact I remember thinking, shouldn’t I have to sign something to handle this? Regardless of what I did wrong I always had my breast to offer him! Another funny side note: One night I dressed my son for bed in the cutest little nighty. When he woke up the next morning he was drenched! Turns out I forgot to put a diaper on him! epic fail!
I love the warmth of their little bodies and how they hold your finger while feeding, the look in their eyes and the occasional sideways smile they give you when they take a break. I love the content “milk wasted” look that comes over them after they have had their fill!
In the midst of all this cuteness there is a characteristic they display that sends me into reflection about our relationship with our nurturing God the Father. You see, my kids can count on me, I’ve never let them down when they were ready to feed. Babies are accustomed to routine so they know when the breast is coming. The are good at reading the signs. They know when they are crying I will intervene. It is a practice we have been doing several times a day all of their lives, they know to expect my provision and have never lacked it.
I find it interesting even still, our feeding preparations are second nature to them. Yet when its time to feed they squirm they cry they protest. If I am taking longer than usually they become impatient as if they don’t trust I’m going to follow through with the goods! Yet I come through every time.
Don’t we behave this way with God? He is the giver of every good and perfect gift, he sustains our lives. He is so faithful, beyond compare. Yet when he takes to long we squirm, we doubt, we cry and he still provides.