I am not going to lie, every once and a while I struggle with doubt. As a believer I walk by faith and not by sight. To believe in something you do not see is a difficult concept and counter to what we are taught in school; that seeing is in fact believing. But I am comforted by the fact that obvious cracks exist in one’s argument to only believe what you can see, to only feel what is tangible. We can feel the wind and know its there but we cannot see it. We know that a chair is made up of millions of molecules that we cannot see with our unassisted eye, yet we sit in it.
The fact is (and no one talks about this often) that doubt is a natural part of the Christian life. Even the great prophet Elijah after having seen God work miracles on his behalf, fled to the wilderness when Jezebel threatened him. He says “I have had enough, Lord,…Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors.” (1 Kings 19:4)
When doubt comes rushing in on me it is always like this….”What if it is all for not? What if after death one simply ceases to exist? (What a horrible idea that the beauty and complexity of the soul ceases to exist. But any way that is for another blog post lol) What if there is no great getting up morning? No day of reckoning, nothing. Just finality. Just darkness. Just the end. The prideful, the “learned” as they call themselves, see my faith as trivial, un-evolved, the opium of the masses, a contrived way to answer questions to which there are no answers. The latest of discoveries in their pocket is what some call the “god gene.” When analyzing the continued pervasiveness of religious belief alongside of humanistic enlightenment, they believe there must be some defining reason for faith in light of how silly it is, yet it still remains. The “god gene” is a theory which states ones propensity to believe, is simply a part of genetic evolution. Anthropological studies prove that faith in a god tends to lend itself to a longer and happier, more fulfilled life. Therefore those who had a propensity for faith won the “survival of the fittest lottery” in fortifying the chance to cope with life’s issues by looking to a god. God then becomes a mere placebo effect in their minds.
But what if that’s it? In the pit of my soul I think, what if we have swallowed a gigantic placebo pill…God’s never failing faithfulness towards me, his miraculous power, his healing love, his constant tangible presence in my life, does not stand as evidence in court against those who scoff. It does stand to reassure me. But let this scripture ring true since I cannot show you my personal experiences. While they are assuring, my personal experience is unnecessary to prove God’s existence. They truly pale in comparison to who God is, because God is and will always be the all mighty God despite what He does or does not do for me.
Isaiah 2:12-18 & 20-22 “The Lord Almighty has a day in store for all the proud and lofty, for all that is exalted (and they will be humbled), for all the cedars of Lebanon, tall and lofty, and all the oaks of Bashan, for all the towering mountains and all the high hills, for every lofty tower and every fortified wall, for every trading ship and every stately vessel. The arrogance of man will be brought low and human pride humbled; the Lord alone will be exalted in that day, and the idols will totally disappear.”
“In that day people will throw away to the moles and bats their idols of silver and idols of gold, which they made to worship. They will flee to caverns in the rocks and to the overhanging crags from the fearful presence of the Lord and the splendor of his majesty, when he rises to shake the earth. Stop trusting in mere humans, who have but a breath in their nostrils. Why hold them in esteem?”
So I ask you, what if there is no day of reckoning, nothing. Just finality, Just darkness. Just the end? But what if there will be the Day of the Lord and the King of Glory reigns in all His might? What if the pride of man, our learned leaders, our man made logic and enlightened thought, our idols are laid to waste?
Borrowing from the great Philosopher & Physicist Psacal, we all make this bet, or this wager with our lives; to believe or not to believe. The one who chooses to believe yet their belief is disproved, losing nothing in his wager, yet the one who chooses not to believe and his belief is disproved, he then, losing everything.
What is your choice?